Theology/FAQ

WHY AM I A MEMBER OF THE FCLL?

BECAUSE THE ONE THING THAT UNITES THE SPECIES ACROSS ALL DIFFERENCES OF COLOR, CREED, NATIONALITY, ZIP CODE AND BEVERAGE PREFERENCE IS STUPIDITY. IF YOU ARE HUMAN YOU SHARE THAT UNAVOIDABLE DNA LINK FROM DIM PAST TO SHINING PRESENT.

WHY IS THE FCLL THE WORLD’S OLDEST RELIGION?

BECAUSE ALL OTHER RELIGIONS ARE BASED ON FEAR AND GUILT. BEFORE FEAR AND GUILT CAN WORK YOU MUST HAVE STUPIDITY.

WHAT CAN THE FCLL OFFER ME?

UNLIMITED MILAGE, ONE HOLY DAY A YEAR AND A TWO DIMENSIONAL SPIRITUAL SCAPEGOAT.

HOW MANY MEMBERS ARE THERE IN THE CHURCH?

How many people have you got?

WHAT DOES IT COST?

NOTHING.

YOU’LL NOTICE NO MONEY HAS CHANGED HANDS. IT’S A MIRACLE!!!!